A Course in Love & Healing 
 
Lesson 3

Listening
as a LoveMaster

By Dr. Scott Peck & Shannon Peck

Has anyone ever listened to you with such focused attention and reverence for what is in your inner heart that you felt completely understood?

Most of us, unfortunately, are rarely listened to at this depth – by anyone, including our lovemates.  So few know how to listen.  What a loss!  There is no greater gift than to listen to another’s heart.

LoveMasters are experts at listening with deep empathy.  Allow us the privilege of listening to you – right now – even though we’re not with you:

What is honestly going on in your heart 
at this moment?    

As you prepare to share with us, we are looking at you with great caring.  We are offering you open, quiet space to think and share without interruption.  And we are listening with love.  There is no hurry to answer.  There is no judgment.

In our verbal silence, we want you to feel the freedom to unpack whatever concerns, desires, or doubts you wish to share.  Go ahead.  Speak to us silently or out loud.

As you begin to speak, gathering thoughts, we may be tempted to say something – to make you feel more comfortable, to get you started, to agree with you, or to add our feelings or thoughts to what you have said. But no, we resist.  Instead, we stay in a mode of active yet quiet listening – in loving silence – allowing you the freedom to unfold what is in your heart, even though it may be slow in coming out.

As you slowly open to us (and yourself), surprised to find yourself with so much freedom to speak without interruption, judgment, or direction, we continue to relish this moment of listening to your heart. Your long pauses test our listening skills. Silence is awkward…

…but oh so beautiful!  In silence, the heart opens.

As you speak, we are tempted to let our private, internal thinking shift from you to us – to our lives, our reaction to what you are saying, our conclusions, our expectations of what you will say next, and our judgments.  But we remind ourselves, internally, that true listening only takes place when we focus only on what you are saying.  We return mentally to you.

As we make the effort to stay tuned to your heart, not ours, we find ourselves feeling more and more at one with you.  It is an extraordinary experience – for us – to listen so openly and non-judgmentally. 

You, too, are in awe, almost disbelieving this enormous space of freedom to let your heart come forward.  You come to a stopping point.  Is it really the end?   Should we break this long and silent listening?  Are you getting annoyed at too much listening with no feedback? 

We think these questions privately, and communicate to you with our eyes and heart that we want you to feel the space to do what your heart delights.  We do not want to interrupt your inner flow.  This may be a pause of self-discovery.

The silence between us is sacred.  We see you searching your heart at even greater depth. Our highest love at this precious and profound moment is continued quietness.  Silence is a magnificent tool of Love.  You are almost unaware of us now, continuing to explore and think and speak at even greater depth. Inwardly, you are surprised that anyone has listened to you so thoroughly – allowed you so much space to unfold. 

You reach another end point.  We sense that you have had the opportunity to say all you wish to share for now.  We  see the dawning of your realization: “So this is what it feels like when someone truly listens to the heart!”

We truly wish we could sit with each reader of this lesson who has never experienced such listening.  But now you know what you deserve. 

Each of us needs the satisfaction – the healing – that pours forth during such listening.  When was the last time anyone listened to you with such tenderness, quietness, thoroughness, and genuine interest?  When was the last time you listened to your lovemate (or anyone) with this quality of honoring, liberating listening?  

This is a taste of how a LoveMaster listens.  Can you imagine the quality of relationships this produces?  In the next 24 hours, decide to listen to someone in just this way – with silence, no judgment, no interruptions, and deep empathy.  Let your very being communicate the following message:

“I treasure what is in your heart.  
I am actively listening to you – loving you – right now, 
with no other motive than for you to feel understood 
and have the opportunity to share openly
what is in the depth of your heart.”

As you listen this way, you will enter the heart of a LoveMaster – and you won’t ever want to leave.  Welcome to the heart of Love!

© Copyright 2000 by Scott & Shannon Peck  
 

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