Let us walk the path of love fulfillment together and listen as love speaks to us.

Today, we two authors are delightfully married, but it wasn’t always so. Each of us experienced unhappy, unfulfilling previous marriages that ended in divorce. Our path of love seemed quite a failure – to each of us.

Yet the agony of what we, and so many others, have experienced when an unhealthy relationship ends, brought us face to face with what we needed to learn in order to move on and move higher.

This was the turning point on the path of love fulfillment where we learned enormously valuable lessons. Although we didn’t know each other yet, we both learned similar lessons. We learned that our love standards were far too low. We learned that a great deal of our suffering came from not deeply loving and honoring our own selves. We learned the vital necessity of listening to that inner voice of intuition that knows best what is good for us – and what is not. We learned that our hearts needed and deserved equally open and giving hearts in a love mate.

We both remember what caused the love shift that led to our happiness today. After months of thinking that he would probably remain single forever, a higher thought dawned within Scott: “You deserve to be well loved. In fact, this is your spiritual right.” It was as if Love was speaking. Actually this is Love speaking to each of us. No one is excluded – or could be excluded. But we need to respond. And Scott did. He took this message into his soul, accepted and knew it so fully that he released all love concern and allowed the message to guide him.

Meanwhile, though we had still not yet met, Shannon was in her office, continuing her work as a spiritual healer, while working through her divorce which had been devastating. One day, she simply turned the healing light on herself and let the affirmations flow as Love spilled them out, one after another: “Love is seeking me out and claiming me as its own, saying, ‘You are mine! You belong to me!’” This flood of affirmations lifted Shannon to a new love space where there was comfort, hope, and a direct relationship with Love itself.

We each experienced such transforming love inspiration prior to knowing each other, that it is literally true that we first met in Spirit, or Love space. This may not be where most people do their searching for a love mate, but this is a big clue for anyone on the path of love fulfillment. Listen to what Love is saying to you. Let Love guide you higher. Let your primary love relationship be with Love itself. Think of yourself and love in full partnership. This is the path of Love fulfillment.

Loving Yourself

With all the wonderful people we have met at our workshops and as co-founders of TheLoveCenter, what is most striking is the need for all of us to love ourselves so much better. In fact, this is another giant step on the path of love fulfillment. And here’s why:

If you are not loving yourself, your exquisite inner beauty and talents become invisible. In fact, someone else could easily overlook your wonderful self – because they wouldn’t see or know the true you.

The following shows ways you can practice loving yourself. As you read, see how you presently measure up and be determined to make changes for the better.

Loving yourself means that you are good to yourself. It means you value yourself enough to discover who you are and to name yourself as a treasure in the universe, and really mean it. How are you doing so far?

Loving yourself means you are willing to discover what is important to you – what your needs and your wants are. It means you will turn off the inner critic, stop comparing yourself with others, come to your aid and defense, offer yourself unending forgiveness and remember that you are just as important and loveable as anyone else, richly deserving all love. This may lead you to make changes.

Practicing these habits helps you to feel good and even great about yourself. Your inner radiance starts to shine on others and out into the universe. Your heart will yearn to spill. You can appreciate others more for who they are and include yourself in the appreciation.

You can dare to become more visible, allowing your unique individuality to become apparent. Rather than seeing this as making you vulnerable, you can see it as an opportunity to be consistently authentic with yourself and be open to attract people who see the real you.

Your new found courage will drop the belief that you are inadequate or don’t measure up. You will become your strongest advocate. The path of love fulfillment needs your courage and commitment in full-hearted support of loving yourself at a 10. Are you ready to make those changes?

 Finding Your Love Mate

 Loving yourself is not a strategy to meet a love mate. It is a strategy to come into a fuller alignment with the power of love. But doing this produces an expansion of light energy that can lead you to your love mate – and to those soul mates destined to join you on the path of love fulfillment.

As you love yourself, your inner passion comes alive. You begin to give attention to the big reasons you are here on Earth. You begin to align your life with people and organizations moving on the path of Light. Everything starts shifting. Things not on the path begin to fall away until everything you do begins to blend in the higher purpose that you and only you can know intuitively. It also leads to refining the ways you express love and draws you closer to others.

Again, the paradox, pursuing your passions is not a strategy to meet a love mate, but that’s what often happens. In fact, that’s how we met. Individually, we kept listening to the light. As a result, Scott was asked to participate in designing a workshop for teenagers in another city (where Shannon lived). Shannon was asked to be a healer at this same conference. And that’s where we met. Openly living our passion brought us together in the light.

Together we grew in love and soon discovered our passion to be outward, addressing the world’s need for love and holding equal space for others to discover the rich love we ourselves were experiencing. We had a joint mission. Sharing life purpose together is a new and higher way that current partnerships are evolving on the path of love fulfillment. This brings you to a level of oneness with all of Love, so infinite.

 The Love You Deserve from the Start Line

 When we met, something very new occurred on our path of love fulfillment. We didn’t play any games. We were honest and transparent with our hearts and feelings – even if it meant losing each other. We wanted the real thing.

So many new relationships begin with a dance and distance that hides the true soul. Why not begin a new love relationship where it deserves to be – at the highest level of love you can imagine. You deserve to be cherished and honored. So does your partner. Why should that wait? Your spirituality and passion deserve to be known and supported. Why should that wait? You deserve love that includes rich, sweet friendship where hearts can intertwine with ease and joy. Why should this wait?

One superb way of taking a new relationship to genuine love from the start line is to ask love questions: What are you most passionate about? What is the most significant thing going on in your life? What’s going on in your heart at this time in your life? These questions raise your relationship to the level of love that fulfills. Why wait? The infinite possibilities of the love you deserve are open to you right now.

Yes, but, what if I lose my new friend with my honesty, my spirituality, or my love questions? Well, the person you deserve won’t leave you. He or she will be drawn even closer – if you two are meant to be together. And if your new potential friend or love mate doesn’t value these qualities in you, you are already heading for compromise and unfulfillment.

So much happens swiftly in new love relationships. Of course there is the natural rush to intimacy. But this can be combined with an equal rush into genuine friendship. Are you sharing without being judged? Are your dreams being listened to and cherished? Is there equality in your sharing and listening? Are you being treated with respect, kindness, and honoring 100% of the time – even during conflict? Are you safe to be transparent with your soul? Is there equal empathy from both partners? What is your intuition whispering?

Taking love to this high place of fulfillment from the start line is very cleansing. Some new people may disappear quickly. But you will be practicing a higher way of love living. In fact, rather than letting your heart auto-rehearse the inner question, “Is this the one?” every time you meet someone new, think of yourself as on an adventure of learning, practicing, and refining your love skills so you will be a true love master when the right soul partner appears. Don’t hold back your love until you meet that special person. Let your love loose to the universe. Love all those people around you. Ask them love questions. Let them feel your wave of love energy. Practice genuine love from the start line – with everyone. This virtually guarantees that you will be love ready when Love opens that door for you. And in the meantime, you are going to be a very fulfilled person.

Sustaining Love at a 10

So how do you sustain genuine love?

This is such an important question because so many relationships sink far below love fulfillment.

Perhaps first on the list of love skills that sustain love at a 10 is the ability to listen without negative judgment. Do you know how irresistible and rare that is?

When first falling in love, it’s easy to listen without negative judgment. Somehow, though, the closer we get to someone, the easier it becomes to become critical. No one likes to be negatively judged – or deserves to be judged in genuine love. This is such a drag on hearts and happiness.

The opposite of judging is honoring. If you are in a love relationship right now, how well are you honoring and accepting your partner, without negative judgment, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being all the time)?

One of the sweetest ways of honoring your love mate is to listen to his or her heart. Not only listen, but feel. And not only feel, but understand. And not only understand, but hold the space needed for comfort, healing, or expression. Such empathetic listening is a counselor’s #1 tool – because hearts can open in safety and find answers, even fulfillment. Such empathetic, non-judging listening is just as accessible to you as a love sustaining skill in your love relationship.

And yes, there will be disagreements. Strong ones. That just happens when two lives interconnect at the level of a sustained relationship or partnership.

The secret to sustaining love at a 10 is how fast the “love truck” can arrive. What’s the love truck? Well, if your home was on fire – and the fire was growing out of control – you would call the fire station and they would send a fire truck – full of equipment and people trained to extinguish fires. So when heat between you and your loved one erupts or expands into fire, find that love truck within your soul – and find it fast.

The love truck arrives with remembering the other person’s sweetness, moving from anger or frustration back to the place of compassion that defines your highest self. It allows forgiveness to start flowing. A fire, like a conflict, needs oxygen. Sustaining love at a 10 calls for the highest skills of a love master – compassion, gentle words, true heart listening and sharing, graceful humor, and proactive forgiveness. These may not come easily, but this is what sustains genuine love. Learning to speak honestly in a loving way that doesn’t crush the spirit of your love mate means you will rapidly extinguish the fire of conflict. And there will be no damage.

Remember when your relationship began. You wanted to spend so much time together. The flow was sweet and untarnished by life’s stress and burdens that seem to accumulate as a relationship continues. That is why it is so valuable to spend relaxed time together. This is something grossly undervalued!

We have been married about 12 years now and we have set aside every Friday – for all 12 years – to simply be together without work or errands (since we often work on weekends). On Fridays, we usually go to a yoga class together, have a leisurely lunch, and often go for a beach walk or to a movie. In between, we have lots of soul talk. This lets our hearts reconnect. We discover each other’s needs, which change rapidly from week to week. It places us back into a softer space where love can deepen and expand.

Where ever you are on the path of love fulfillment, we know that Love itself is cherishing you, guiding you, and opening all possibilities for your life. Please take the love plunge into your spiritual right to be well loved – and become an even higher love master yourself. This is the path of Love fulfillment and, happily, it includes each of us. Welcome to the heart of Love!

© Copyright 2005 by Dr. Scott Peck & Shannon Peck

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ABOUT THIS COURSE IN LOVE & HEALING

The goal of the Course in Love & Healing is to raise universal consciousness to what is possible in Love. The Course consists of a continuing series of short, illuminating lessons offered to those who wish to receive them and is a gift from TheLoveCenter, a non-profit educational organization dedicated to creating more love. Feel free to copy and share this Course with others, but please do so in its entirety.  Add me to the mailing list to receive these free columns.  

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